God VS Program Manager Funny

God VS Program Manager (Funny)

One day a man was having a conversation with god when his whole life flashed before his eyes as a series of footsteps on the sands of time. He saw that there were two pairs of footprints, but during the most difficult periods of his life there were only one set of footprints.

He asked god "You said you will be with me throughout this journey, but why have you deserted me during the most critical times of my life??

" to which god answered "Son, I did not desert you, I was always with you...you see only one set of footprints because during those difficult times in your life, I was carrying you" . This was the actual conversation between God and Man This is the famous foot prints story written by Margaret Fishback Powers.

Another day a S/w Programmer was having a similar conversation with his PM when his whole project flashed before his eyes as a series of footsteps on the sands of time. He saw that there were two pairs of footprints, but during the most difficult times in the project there were only one set of footprints.

He asked his PM "You said you will be with me throughout the project, but why have you deserted me during the most critical times of the project??" to which the PM answered "Youngman, I did not desert you, I was always with you...you see only one set of footprints because during those difficult times, I was sitting on your head!!".

“The only devils in this world are the devils in our brains. The battle should be first fought against them”

Mahatma Gandhi

Frustrated Victim of Emails .. Funny

FRUSTRATED VICTIM OF EMAILS (FUNNY)

I want to thank all my friends and other unknown people who have forwarded chain letters to me in 2003, 2004 & 2005. Because of your kindness:

I stopped drinking Coca-Cola after I found out that it's good only for removing toilet Stains

* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS*

*I stopped walking on footpaths, for fear of get dust into my eye and it turns out to be a live worm

*I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.

*I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.

*I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo

*I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat faeces and urine.

*When I go to parties, I don't look at any girl, no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take me to a hotel, drug me, then take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

*I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. (Poor girl! she's been 7 since 1993...)

* I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made, expecting the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me (when I participated in their special-mail program) would arrive soon.

*My free Nokia phone never arrived and neither did the free passes for a paid vacation to Disneyland .

*Still open to help someone from Bulgaria who wants to use my account to transfer his uncle's property of some hundred millions $.

* Made some Hundred wishes before forwarding those Dalai Lama, Ganesh Vandana, Tirupathi Balaji pics etc.. now most of those "Wishes" are lready married (to someone else)

IMPORTANT NOTE:

If you do not send this e-mail to at least 9137600 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will sh*t on your head today at 04.00 hour 5 min 6 sec

Now Give me a break

"Life's gretest setbacks reveals life's biggest opportunities"

Robin Sharma from who will cry when you die

A tribute to Professions (Funny)

A Tribute to the Professors of India, on their usage of English

# Inside the Class:

* Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.

* Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.

* Cut an apple into two halves - take the bigger half.

* Shhh...Quiet, boys...the principal just passed away in the corridor.

* You, meet me behind the class. (meaning AFTER the class .)

* Both of u three get out of the class.

* Close the doors of the windows please . I have winter in my nose today.

* Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver.

* Take 5 cm wire of any length.

* shhh... quite, the principal is rotating in the school.

· (Facing the Board)

Dont talk in front of my back.

*(In the Alumni Meet)

The principal addresses the alumni students & says

* I am happy that you all passed away from this college.

*(In the class)

*Remember me in the class tomorrow ...@!@!(instead of remind me...)

* In the exam,

My paper is overing give me a new paper.

# About his family:

* I have two daughters. Both of them are girls.... (?)

# At the ground:

* All of you stand in a straight circle.

* There is no wind in the ball.

*Let the sun go then we can play (to say evening...)

# To a boy, angrily:

* I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk?

# Giving a punishment:

* You, rotate the ground four times...

* You, go and under-stand the tree...

* You three of you, stand together separately.

* Why are you late - say YES or NO.... (?)

# Sir at his best:

Sir had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance, he happened to seeone of our boys at the theatre, though the boy did not see them. So thenext day at school (to that boy): "Yesterday I saw you WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre."

“If U keep waiting for just the Right time, U may never Begin...”

A NICE STORY ABOUT MANAGER

Scientists at the Rocket launching station in Thumba, were in the habit of working for nearly 12 to 18 hours a day. There were about Seventy such scientists working on a project. All the scientists were really frustrated due to the pressure of work and the demands of their boss but everyone was loyal to him and did not think of quitting the job.One day, one scientist came to his boss and told him - Sir, I have promised to my children that I will take them to the exhibition going on in our township.

So I want to leave the office at 5 30 pm.His boss replied - O K, , You are permitted to leave the office early today. The Scientist started working. He continued his work after lunch.As usual he got involved to such an extent that he looked at his watch when he felt he was close to completion The time was 8.30 p.m Suddenly he remembered of the promise he had given to his children. He looked for his boss,,He was not there. Having told him in the morning itself, he closed everything and left for home.Deep within himself, he was feeling guilty for having disappointed his children.He reached home. Children were not there.His wife alone was sitting in the hall and reading magazines. The situation was explosive, any talk would boomerang on him.

His wife asked him - Would you like to have coffee or shall I straight away serve dinner if you are hungry.The man replied - If you would like to have coffee, i too will have but what about Children??? Wife replied- You don't know - Your manager came at 5 15 p.m and has taken the children to the exhibition.What had really happened was The boss who granted him permission was observing him working seriously at 5.00 p.m. He thought to himself, this person will not leave the work, but if he has promised his children they should enjoy the visit to exhibition. So he took the lead in taking them to exhibition The boss does not have to do it everytime. But once it is done, loyalty is established.

That is why all the scientists at Thumba continued to work under their boss even though the stress was tremendous.

By the way , can you hazard a guess as to who the boss was????????

He was The Great A P J Abdul Kalam.

“Worrying does not reduce yesterday`s sorrows But it empties today`s strength”